In da beginning dere was nuttin, see
Den on da first day God created da U.P., eh?
On da second day He created da partridge, da deer, da bear, da fish, an da ducks ya know
On da third day He said, "Let dere be YOOPERS to roam da U.P."
On da fourth day He created da udder world down below and on da fifth day He said," Let dere be TROLLS to live in da world down below."
On da sixth day He created 'DA BRIDGE' so da TROLLS would have a way to get to Heaven, see.
God saw it was good and on da seventh day He went huntin!!
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern
Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.
Over here I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
con tinent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold
and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass
and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Michigan , the most glorious place on earth. You'll
notice that it is made in the fashion of my hand, the Hand of God. There
are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. ; The pe ople from
Michigan are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are
going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable,
hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them
in Ohio , Indiana , Illinois , Wisconsin and Canada
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